music: “Till The Morning Comes,” Neil Young
Lalalala…I’m only waiting til the morning comes, lalala..this is a fun song. Today was awkward and irritating. Moving is stressful, I want to cry every time I think of my friends (talking to them is no consolation, so I find myself vaguely avoiding them), and I am starting to feel how much I’m going to miss my brother’s silent presence in my life.
On a happier note, my dad comes back from South Korea in only EIGHTEEN DAYS!! I’m very excited, as far as I know I get to pick him up at the airport all by my big-girl self. It’s only fair, I’m his favorite daughter. Hahmph.
Therapy was silly and pointless today. I wished I could tell her about my perpetual emptiness, this lack of emotion towards things I should feel emotional about. All I ended up telling her was how much I hate my mother. It really doesn’t resolve anything, it only gets me worked up. But really, Mom is so hard to live with, I can’t imagine what freedom I’m going to find myself enjoying in only a few weeks. I may miss her after all, because hindsight is 20/20, and all that. But I doubt it.
I was a couch potato most of the day. I leafed through my dad’s old yearbooks, watched a bit too much tv, played with Delia, had class for two hours, drank too much lemonade. Tomorrow I’ll be more productive. I'm feeling depressed and lonesome tonight. I wish I could be in Idaho already.